Until I find myself

“So where are you now?” he asked as he sipped his coffee.

“In front of you?” she answered, so confused it almost came out as a question.

“In life, I mean”, he replied.

She smiled before answering, ” I am figuring out.”

“Figuring out what exactly?” he asked further.

“You know… what I want to do, what I love to do, what I need to do. You see, I spent the last few years doing things because they were expected of me to do, or were the ‘right thing’. I didn’t think there was any other way. I guess when you’re young and accustomed to doing the same mundane things, change seems hard. Let alone figuring out stuff.

But as a wise drunk man once said ‘Life’s too short’. So I’m trying out new things, some I like, some I don’t. But at least I get to scratch it off my list. I like painting now, who knows ten years from now, the same smell of paint might make me want to puke. But I’m going to do it while it lasts.  Until I finally find it, until i finally find myself.”

-Prajakta Dengale